Happy Keaster!

Chicken stroganoff sucks dick. Just sayin'.

Pictured: Yippee!!!

Grandma's birthday!!

Hung out with family. Lots of family actually!! Was great. Told my mother my plans for a courthouse wedding coming up pretty soon if I get my way. Whatev.

Anyways on to my disastrous body stuff and junk. We went to a local Mexican restaurant to which I got what I thought would be healthier. Texas fajitas. Had grilled shrimp, chicken, and steak, green peppers, onions. Of course flour tortillas, rice, and beans. Yummy....

The good news is I had originally ordered a big fat deep fried chimichanga drenched in cheese and red shit!!! And I.... Passed that mofo up!!! That is my biggest achievement for the evening. Proud of me.

So if I analyzed it half right then I went over by 500 calories. Not bad. Went to Walgreens and got four D batteries. Time to power up that elliptical correctly. It's junky as all hell. Probably the best I could have gotten for as little as I paid, but still. Whatever, managed to hit 10 full minutes on resistance level 1!!! Lol. Go me. Fail. But I did it. Heart rate was 180 something. So I had to quit. Guess I'm going to have to work my way up to healthy.

UPDATE: That chili beef shit I made continues to be amazing, actually even more amazing after 2 days of sitting in the fridge then microwaved.

Pictured below
#1 is the summary of my workout.

#2 is my grandma on the left, her sister Julie, on the right.

Diabetic dinner #1

Chili beef and corn casserole. Has lean hamburger, cumin, chili powder, salsa, corn and collard greens in it. Not to bad for a first time try. Also very filling.

But you don't have diabetes...

Darling has struck again and again today despite it being day 1 of his 8 day vacation.

1. First thing today he asked me (despite being fully capable) to go to McDonald's and pick him up some sandwiches. No I didn't get me a single thing...

2. So after I scarfed down my McDonald's, I read a book and he played his video games. I decided to make a sandwich. I accidentally cut myself. While trying to get the bleeding to stop he says, "a band aid will stop the bleeding" -_-

3. He asks me to go to the store to get said bandaid and while I'm there pick up cereal. "We can live on that for a while."

4. Finally the bleeding slowed down. I decided to google "how do I know if I need stitches". It just wouldn't stop bleeding. While I was reading I seen something about diabetes and bleeding. I read it out loud. He replies with, "but you don't have diabetes." Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

---------Answers---------

1. Thanks for the added temptation, asshole. It's bad enough the commercials remind me of that shit.

2. A band aid does NOT stop bleeding, pressure does. A band aid only helps keep it clean and maybe a few other things like topical ointments but most certainly not to stop bleeding like this.

3. You may have convinced yourself that you can live on that, despite what your kidneys, stomach, digestive system, pancreas, and heart may think, but I have not agreed to live like that since I was 19. Secondly, I would eat like that if I HAD to under different situations of more healthful times, but here in Diabetes 2013, it's asking for trouble. Good luck with that.

Also, what am I, your fucking gopher? Go get your own damn cereal. I say this because the past has shown me that I'll never get the cereal he likes even if he told me what cereal he wants.

4. I don't have diabetes? Did you get a phone call from Dr. Sebastian that I didn't know about? Last I checked, I was damned close. Close enough that I am living my life as if it's already been diagnosed. The only thing between me and diabetes is DIABETES. And maybe all this water and Metformin I take every day.

I know no one reads this, but advice would be nice.

Peeps.

You too? Really?!

Ok sure, from the picture below you may be able to substitute sugar free candy since it does exist. THEY DO EXIST!! But I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. Sugar free peeps are the devil and he will emerge from your asshole only 1 peep and 2 hours later like a volcano of diarrhea. Good luck with that!!

Fast food rage!!

McDonald's has not one but TWO spicy chicken sandwiches, a medium fry, and a soda for $4. Fucking assholes.

Buy a blizzard, get one for 99 cents. Seriously? ASSHATS!!!!

That would be my favorite fast food meal right now if I could do it. I wonder how much trouble I'd get in physically if I just did it... Eat it all!!!!!

I am starving. Perhaps because my $40 budget is a little intense. I found a few tips online. Chicken stroganoff and salmon Alfredo. Sounds pretty good actually!! Buuuuuut..... It's not a blizzard. Not only does the blizzard commercials play like a mofo, but my favorite mint cookie is the ending blizzard close up. And, it lingers.... Longer than it needs too. ASSHOLES!!!!

*UPDATE*
Burger King whopper junior $1.29....
Yea. Fuck you.

Really, Taco Bell? You too? But you are my weakness and you don't have to advertise to remind me that I always think about you. Meanie!

Budgets suck!

I've been given $40 to make it the rest of the week feeding 2 people. Mind you, one of these people is a "growing boy" and eats a LOT! Diet foods are not his thing. So let me rephrase my original statement...

I've been given $40 to feed two people, two totally different meals for a week. Plus snacks will be expected. Ugh.... I'm screwed. Diabetes can just take me now because at this point I'm so frustrated. A year ago I could have just made a big pot of spaghetti or a big thing of lasagna. Now I have nothing like that to make for budgety weeks and be healthy without breaking the bank. I'm beyond irritated at his lack of understanding that those aren't meals that I can have anymore. I feel I need to just go get those things and eat bullshit diabetic garbage while he eats my lush cooking so then maybe he can understand how bad THIS SUCKS.

A little alcohol goes a long way

Started off the evening with intentions of just stopping in to say happy birthday to a girl from my "crew". One of my best friends and I (haha proper drunken English right there!) agreed... One for her... None for the diabetic... Then we found the drink specials sign. On a friday might? No way!!! Sex with a captain $2. She buys one and has me try it. And in case you don't know, she loves sex on a beach, I love the captain. This was like a match made in heaven plus it was amazing. Even my mother would have loved it since it tasted like a reddish version of a fuzzy navel. (1) So why not? Just one. Went down smooth. Does Hollie want another? Ok I'm going too, sure!!! Goes really quick. Aaaand.... It's gone. Well hell I've already screwed up lets do it again. And again. 4 drinks later I'm singing the most depressing song I could find by Sara Bareilles. (2) Finally we decide to leave. My song put us to sleep. Got home, here I am. An idiot at best. However it was great seeing those girls. I do miss the days we'd boogie, and boy were there LOTS of those days. But now, I need to counter act what I just screwed up and I have no idea how. Plus I work at the makeup counter tomorrow from 10:30-7. Ughhhhhh.
Good night.
_____________

(1) My mother and fuzzy navels. She drinks it very slowly, so slow the ice melts. And occasionally, I mean once a decade, she makes it to the bottom. Usually ending with me in the hospital because she gave me something for a cold that LOOKED like cough syrup...but wasn't. One week and a Super Bowl Sunday later, the charcoal finally exits my system in the texture of black oil paints. Took forever to wipe. "The good shtuff alwaysh tashtes bad!" Uh huh.
(2) Not so much depressing as it was the only other song that wasn't "Love Song". Which don't get me wrong is an amazing song. But after 10pm, all Thundercats are go! No one sings a slow song after 10. And I really didn't think I could handle "Love Song" as sloshed as I was.

****Picture #1 is Hollie with her drinks #3 and #4 to catch up with me. On the bonus side I learned Braille today so when my blood sugar decides to blind me once and for all, I'm set.****

****Picture #2 is the fancy heels I managed to go the entire night in. Sure I was sitting, sure it was only 3 hours, sure they are only 2-3 inches tall with a hidden platform in the toe. I don't care!! That's more than I can normally do!!!****

Gas 'n Stuff

I can hear my farts before they become farts, the song of sugar free candy.

Nass-a-walrus

http://youtu.be/X67R7m4C8Ug

If this animal can work out, why can't I?!!

Frustrations From The Uneducated

I remember when my pops was first diagnosed. I was 7. He taught me the signs and symptoms of things to look for that may require me to call 911. He took me out driving to show me what to do if he ever passed out behind the wheel. I was 7...

My darling doesn't understand how A1C tests work. Cannot say that I completely understand it either. From what I gathered, it's an average percentage of blood glucose over the course of a period of time. My doctor made it sound like testing any less than 3 months between would be silly.

My dilemma today is that I'm not actually having a good diabetic day. My eyes are blurry and I'm so thirsty you'd think I didn't just go through the better half of a gallon of water. So here I am, I'm taking these pills, attempting to eat better, and my symptoms come and go occasionally. I don't know how normal that is. But I'm assuming it's all part of the complications of being diabetic.

When I told darling what was going on, he pretty much said maybe I should have more doctor visits and be put on a different medicine as if the medicine is a cure. The stress he causes me sometimes from not only NOT understanding my problem, but the mere fact he refuses to understand it, infuriates me to the point I want to send him into his own little diabetic coma for a little peace and quiet. He doesn't understand even the basics like I can't have sugar... Breads turn into sugar... Soda has lots of sugar... Fruits are sugar... Tomato sauce has added sugars... (A lot of his favorite meals i cook have tomato sauce or stewed tomatos)

Would it be better to just not tell him and pretend everything is ok? If I do that and something happens, he wouldn't know where to start. Part of me thinks it wouldn't matter if he did or didn't "know". Other parts of me feel like he just doesn't care enough to understand the severity of my situation.

1st Month...

I'm going to die! Aren't we all? October 2012, my doctor prescribed me Metformin, an anti-diabetic drug. No I'm not diabetic... Yet. But I am smokin' close and I'm only 27.

Most of my life has been a giant weight battle. Sometimes a new drug comes along or a fad diet catches my attention and I bite.

Ephedrine Diet
My first diet was back in the ephedrine days. My boyfriend at the time was telling me about this girl he knew who lost a bunch of weight by simply taking a little red pill. So I had to try it! I wasn't old enough to purchase it but my mom met with the clerk and said they had her permission whether or not she was with me. I took that precious little pill 3 times a day. My diet consisted of bananas, granola bars, and all the water I could stomach. I don't remember ever being home long enough to eat a full meal. I didn't get on the scale so I'm not sure how much I truly lost that time, but one thing's for sure. I could show my belly! Granted I looked like a crackhead my senior year of high school bc my body would shake so bad I was a giant distraction in class. But I...looked good! Then the laws took effect, my drug was yanked from the shelves forcing me to quit a level 3 fat predator addiction cold turkey. I slept for 15 hours at a time waking only to use the bathroom and have my mom call me into school because I wasn't going. But that's another story. The weight slowly came back.

2004 Weight Watchers
My mom was in the same dire straights I am finding myself in today. She was scared and confused for her life and her future. At 247lbs I went to weight watchers. Ill never forget, my first weigh in I lost 7 pounds and mom dropped 16. She started crying. Even though on day one of that diet, we buckled and went on a Taco John's binge, we still kicked butt. Over the course of the next 6 months, I managed to lose 62 pounds and my mom lost 90. We both still had a long way to go. Then we hit a plateau. And we stayed on that plateau for another 6 months. Weight watchers weekly prices started to rise, I moved out, and we both started college. Everything started to disintegrate except our waistlines. 7 years later, here I am.

November 2012
My eyesight blurs in and out. My throat craves water. I have darkening under my arms, back of my neck, and behind my thighs. My bladder won't let me get 30 minutes in at work without running to the bathroom...which is strategically located on a different floor and 2 annoyingly long sets of steps. Going down I was about to burst, coming back up I was gasping for air, I was miserable.

I went to the clinic and they checked my vitals. Surprisingly my blood pressure was normal and my thyroid was perfectly fine. My weight was 254 and my A1C came back 5.8%. My doctor decided to prescribe my Metformin and retested me at a 5.6% A1C. He never said lose weight or eat less sugar. He just warned of the side effects, told me to take walks more often, and said the pill usually results in a little weight loss. I was devastated. With no idea what to do, I kept down the path I was going except with another little pill.

March 8th 2013
3 months later, my doctor claimed he was shocked! Not only had my A1C test remained exactly the same, but I gained 10 pounds! 264. I have a friend who is 1/3 my size. And she's taller than me!

One week prior, I found a video on YouTube about people who drink a cup of water before each meal, a cup during, and a cup after at least 3 times a day. That's all they did. They claim to eat whatever they want. I vaguely remembered a guy I use to work with who drank half his body weight in ounces. He, too, claimed to eat whatever he wanted. Ok so half of my weight is roughly a gallon of water. That first night, I tried a small bowl of chili and I could barely eat half of it, I was stuffed. I was in love!! Doctor approved my water diet and I was set to go!!!

Today!!!
27 year old me wants to go to 11 year old me and force me to not be such a twat in P.E.

Or even 17 year old me. I was almost fit back then. Instead, I continued to be a twat in P.E.

Wait what?....... 38 year old me is at the door about to have a heart attack and is trying to chase me with a butcher knife? Oh! I see! Because I'm being a twat to the elliptical that I can't stay on longer than 3 minutes. Way to go, Nassy Chunk-a-lot.
------
The water thing has went great except my acid reflux is so bad my throat has hurt since my March doctor's appointment.

So I slowed it down a bit by spreading out my water intake a little. Seems to be working a little better. Now to keep the pizza away from me.

My mom's scale read 260 today. This is semi pleasing considering her scale is always higher by a couple of pounds than an accurate read. I like to pretend that the week before my doctors appointment I may have been closer to 270 and lost my "water weight" before my first weigh in.

Future blogs won't typically be this long, I felt I should introduce my weight loss roller coasting drama before the fun and games actually start.