43 something. BAMM

I've failed at updating the blog but I'm now down to 221 as of a week ago. That 43 pounds. I have been taken off all of my medicines and have added Prozac because with weightless comes the return of hormones, a giant flood of hormones. They seem to be working. So hey!!

I pretty much stopped exercising when it got above 70 degrees. Now I'll ride my bike or go swimming. But I'm NOT running! The last time I jogged I almost passed out. Way too hot for me. I'm packing a killer tan though! I'll enjoy it since I haven't really had one in 10 years. Bring on the overdue skin damage!

It's not the occasional splurge if it happens every night

Exercise fail. And everyday I've gone over my calories by 100-300. Never going to lose this way!!

Patience is a virtue and my dietary restrictions are so confusing!

I had to draw on the picture to make a point. But today I came to my mom's to pick up something and the scale was being nice to me. I just wanted to see a space between the red line and the "40". Make it official i'm not in the 40's anymore.

Last night I went to a "Spring into Fitness" seminar hosted by a chiropractic office with one of my mates. It was interesting, definitely a lot of things to research, one being something called Max T3. The jist of the exercise is to do short bursts of high intensity exercises. For example, he had us stand up and run in place as fast as we could for 20 seconds. We stopped for 20 seconds. Then ran in place again for 20 more seconds. This would have went on for 12 minutes while having a variety of exercises to do, but he just wanted to give us an idea of the program. He claimed that this kind of exercise will continue to burn fat up to 48 hours after the exercise has ended. He claimed that with regular cardio workouts, we lower our testosterone and HGH levels which apparently are the hormones we need to burn FAT. Also, we lower leptin which helps regulate metabolism and raise cortisol which collects in our mid sections. Supposedly doing the MAX T3 exercises, it's the opposite...

I found this on rippednaturally.com on an article called common body building myths by Paul Lucas. He said:

"...The more effort you put into something (intensity) the more Growth Hormone will be secreted, doing low intensity will release little to none at all. 

Quick sprints (interval training or wind sprints), has far greater cardiovascular benefits than low intensity cardio, it improves your aerobic capacity (Vo2max) two or three times greater, which will help with weight lifting better. You'll get like 5 times greater GH release and testosterone release, which equates to far greater fat burning than if you just did low intensity for longer durations..." 

I think it's time to break out the Billy Blanks dvd lol!

1 pound... frustrated

It's Sunday, 1 1/2 weeks after my last weigh in and I MAY have lost a pound. I've been running, eating my 1200 calories, and being the model fucking health nut. I'm beating myself up over 1 pound b/c honestly I feel like it should be melting off of me much much faster than that. 2004 when I started weight watchers, it didn't take 2 months to lose 25 pounds. I swear to god this had better not be a plateau already... this diet is too young for this.

Chxxsx

So having a hard week financially has taken its toll on my diet. I thought I'd share with you how silly and cruel it is that nothing healthy is available for under $3.

Exhibit A: sandwich slices. What's missing from that title? Looks like cheese. Smells like cheese. Tastes like something we were raised to believe is cheese. Yet... It is SO incredibly processed, it is illegal to put the word "cheese" on the label. 99 cents, folks. That's right. All this can be yours for 99 cents. Well hell yea that's why I bought it. I'm so broke that I wish I could have held on the dollar this bullshit cost me. I'm pretty sure a mcdouble is healthier than this shit.

Exhibit B: behold my food diary at noon. I'm down to 1200 calories a day in order to lose weight. At 240 (I'm in desperate need of a weigh in) I like to fill up on healthy foods so that I can stay satisfied longer.

3 slices of tiny tiny pizza and a sandwich containing the chxxsx above and bologna I did eat it on my favorite whole grain bread. I refuse to cut back on my bread. It's the most satisfying thing of my day.

What's left? Maybe 200 calories. I'm fucked.

Broke...

There's just something about going to the store with $40 left to last over a week to feed two people that makes me really mad. Especially when everyone in line in front of me were jobless with link cards. Yay government. I have the lowest amount of hourly pay legally allowed at a job that refused to acknowledge me as even a part time employee... They won't even give me that much... Then I come home and I'm mocked by someone who has more money than he knows what to do with. Something about this person being in my house and me being forced to front a smile and pretend everything is ok to back up yet another bullshit lie my boyfriend is too proud to admit. I just want to mourn comfortably. I'm tired. If I want to cry in the comforts of my own house, that's my right!

First actual failed jog.

First off, menstrual cramps.

Ok now that that's out of the way... I should have known todAys exercise was going to be a pain in my ass when I have only had 3 cups of water by 6:30pm. That's bad.

Then as I was leaving my house on my bike to head to the track, the neighborhood sex predator was walking by staring me down.

The track was loaded with people. Mainly kids, dogs, and kids with balls and several groups of loud mouth big ass bitches. Started my warm up walk, feeling good. Got music going this time. 1/4th of a lap down, I look to my right and this oversized 14 year old who looks like she may hump her teddy bear at night was slightly behind me. Just STARING AT ME! "Holy shit you just scared me, he he (nervous laugh)"
"Is that your bike!"
"Um, yes?"
"Can I ride it around here?!!!"
Um, no."
She turned and walked away. Next I knew she was at every turn. "Give me two laps!!!"
"Um, no."

People are just freaks. Finally 3 rounds of 1 minute jogs down, 5 to go... Man my throat is getting gunky. I need water. I started my 4th run, 30 seconds in and almost to my water source, STOMACH CRAMP!!!!!!!! Had to stop. Once I made it to my bike, I was ready to leave. Groups of people just standing around on the track.

Ok quick side winder, right now I'm sitting outside my house. Completely failed my exercise right? 3 different sets of people just walked by. Make that 4. 3 of them had dogs, one with a stroller. All STARING. FUCK OFF!! This makes me miss Morton. Oh crap. That's it. I'm in the Fred Rogers neighborhood. I forgot these people like to talk and smile and wave and compliment and stare and all that crap that Nass doesn't want to do today.

Even the black people were asking about my bike. My last neighborhood... The one where I was the minority, people just looked straight ahead. No hi's. No wonder they hated me.

So much for me time. I should have just curled up and watched Doctor Who.